let it go.

I always say loving someone is easy. Its not difficult to fall for their cute personality traits, we often confuse that initial high- with love, but perhaps it could be love. Love for that person in general, love with the idea of eventually being with this person. My family always tells me I’m weird; I’m all about that slow progression. Loving is simple, you just be. It’s the other things people have a hard time with. Such as, loyalty, commitment, sacrifice, and the hardest of them all- forgiveness.

Why is it so problematic to forgive someone we love? Ego, of course. We always feel we’re right in most situations- because we know our intentions, and when someone we love hurts us, we constantly keep thinking- how can the person we love so dearly hurt us? Very possible by the way.

I could say all those cliché phrases right now, that life is short, that you’ll never get this time again, you might lose someone tomorrow and ask yourself, was it worth it? My theory is, in retrospect what is more important- your ego? Or that burden you will carry of not forgiving someone? Or for not saying how you really felt?

If you know me, you know I say what I am feeling always, word vomit if you will. All while being honest remain tactful. For me, it’s never about the right time or not. If something is weighing heavy at me- I have to get it off my chest. There are many things I can carry in my heart, but the burden of regret? That’s not one of them.

I don’t know why people complicate life. If you want to talk to someone, call. Miss them? Tell them. Want to hang out with someone? Invite them. I take full ownership of every single emotion I feel. Its extremely empowering to be fully in control- of the things I can control, of course. Because trust me, there are numerous things which we cannot control, but telling someone you’re going to call them back and then you get a phone call that they are no more.. that is something you will live with forever, and I don’t know about you.. but its much easier to just make the phone call.

So ask yourself, is that you, or your ego?

And also, forgive yourself. I think often forgiveness is associated with others. It is okay if you let your ego get the best of you at times. Just remember, that you can always take over at any given moment and change the momentum of how things are going. That is the power of having control… and being human.

January 21, 2016 1

if you wish to be a warrior.

At any new stage in my life, its hard not to reflect and think about all those occurrences that brought me to this exact moment. Sometimes it takes a lot of heartbreaks, failures, cuts, bruises to finally make it.

Things you really want can seem unattainable. Especially if getting there was such a task. This is just a reminder to MYSELF and ONLY to myself, that anything and everything I have achieved is for me, and even all the times I failed, that was for me too.

One of my favorite quotes by Khalil Gibran is, “I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.”

This quote is extremely reflective and true, we are SO ungrateful to these teachers, but I AM grateful. I always say, you can be many things in life, just don’t be ungrateful. Treasure your time, one thing you will never get back. Don’t fall in love with potential. Fall in love with yourself. Just because you want something SO badly, doesn’t mean you deserve it. That’s the thing about getting what you want… or NOT getting you want, either way, you have to work really hard. Be patient, but don’t procrastinate. Be hopeful, but never naive. When it’s right, you’ll know.

There are days I feel so underserving for everything I have, and on the flip I feel broken at times, asking myself, “why am I not where I want to be?” I remind myself I worked really hard up to this point, that all those failures meant something. To put eloquently, shitty situations inspire brilliant solutions. The trick is, that if you are extremely self aware of who you are and what your heart really desires, what others say or think won’t effect you. I wish I could say that was true all the time, but sadly it is not. There are times people will break you, but it should only make you stronger. The truth is, we spend entirely too much time in critiquing ourselves. Dissecting every thing that went wrong, why it went wrong, or why things aren’t happening fast enough. Unless you let go, forgive the situation, forgive yourself you can’t move forward. Embrace the glorious mess that you are. Accept your failures as an essential part of your journey. Let’s just be who we really are, and always be honest to yourself. I don’t know about you, but I never want to be in calm waters for the rest of my life. If it doesn’t test you, if it doesn’t break you, then it’s not for you.

Timing is everything, and even though it took me a long time to understand that everything genuinely happens for a reason and it is all a part of your story. I will never look back and think: I wish I did things differently. Because I know now, that what passed me by was never going to befall me what has befallen me was never going to pass me by.

I survived and pushed through…. because the fire inside of me burned stronger than the fire around me.

November 22, 2015 0

the art of layering.

If anyone has mastered the art of layering, its usually all the models with their street style. With their causal tees, a button-up (or a flannel tied to their waist), another layer, a really cool moto jacket, and that blanket scarf that pretty much devours them. The art of layering is all about the pieces you layer with.

firstly: pick a color palette and stick with it. It’s essential that the pieces match in some way.

second: it is important to pick thin layers to layer with. If you chose a bulky item, that is how one can look bigger than they really are. Pick ONE bulky layer, and that should be the layer that can be easily taken on and off – usually the coat.

third: layering with accessories is the best. it adds to your look without feeling or looking heavy. a winter hat, jewelry, or knee high socks under your boots that peek through, and of course the blanket scarf. I love how it can turn an outfit to chic in a matter of seconds. All of these items help with layering without the bulky feel, if you’re not into the multiple clothes thing.

I don’t know why, but I always wear a cami (especially during winter time) it keeps me warm and adds an easy layer. For my shirt, I chose my thinner denim shirt, a cardigan and threw on my pleather to complete this look. Of course sunny North Carolina forced me to take my scarf off, but thats okay because I am sure the temps will get frigid in no time and I can wear all my lovely scarfs.

Happy Layering!

November 8, 2015 2

goodbye summer, hello fall.

To dress for the summer season is extremely difficult, for me anyways. I find that it is just too sticky in the south, so being cute is out of the question. Your makeup doesn’t last – no matter how many amazing setting powders or sprays you own, your hair (or MY hair in this case) never wants to stay put and WILL forever just want to curl and get frizzy. Welcome to Carolina heat. The weather is still rather warm, but we are finally gearing up for Fall with the chilly breeze in the mornings and cool nights- my absolute favorite!

But the way I stayed cool (pun intended) this summer was living in easy breezy dresses or jumpsuits. It made life SO easy and the thing about jumpsuits- they transition right into fall- all you have to do is add a cardigan for a causal look or a blazer for a more sophisticated one.

jumpsuit: Tilly’s | cardigan: h&m | shoes: Buckle

September 20, 2015 0

Ramdan Series: Forgivness.

My sister has been begging me to do a Ramadan Series, and I kept telling myself I would eventually get to it. You know, life, it happens, all too often, but it’s important to make time for the things that matter and for the people that matter. I have so many amazing ideas for the series but first lets talk about anger.

Going into Ramadan, God recommends, almost enforces, Muslims to ask for forgiveness from those they have wronged or hurt. The concept behind this is simple, this is month Muslims repent, the month of ultimate forgiveness from the most merciful. Consequently, it is extremely vital we understand the concept ourselves. How can we believe God will forgive us, when we hold on to anger for others?

Life betrays you. You know that moment you’re running late to work and you can’t find your keys? Lovers betray you. Friends betray you in the worst possible way and sometimes even you betray yourself… but we forgive ourselves. Ultimately because we judge our actions by our intentions and others just by their actions. It’s essential that we allow room for others to make their intentions known.

This month is about finding inner peace, and personally, for me, this is the first step. Being able to forgive others for what they lack is exceedingly imperative and humbling, because we forgive ourselves daily… for small things and sometimes for even bigger things. I constantly push myself to be patient with others, because I want the very same regard. Push yourself this month to have self-control in various aspects of your life.

No one ever said it was going to be easy, but it will be worth it.

June 25, 2015 1

pass[ion] aggression.

Recently, I had a professor tell me that my other professors and him included, thought I was too passionate. My reaction was subtle (surprisingly) but I was trying not to be dramatic, for obvious reasons. He said that often while having discussions, they felt others were scared to chime in, because my thoughts and ideas overwhelmed them… because I was too passionate when I spoke. My first instinct was to defend my self, but I remembered this isn’t always the best tactic when someone is giving you constructive criticism. He proceeded to tell me, people find me intimidating and I should remember that while sharing my views. I smiled and said I would be aware. I kept telling all my friends and classmates that day, and of course they laughed- because most of them agreed. I kept reiterating the fact- how can someone be TOO passionate? Is that even a thing? Apparently it is.

Passion scares people. Passion starts new hobbies. Passion starts wars. Passion starts protests. Passion strikes that crazy love, poets speak of. I can see how passion can be slightly dangerous to others.

As it may be, I am too passionate. I just don’t understand how someone can live their life without it. I would rather be a distressed soul than pretend everything is okay. Who wants to be cornered under a disguise of complete normalcy? Finding your way through the uproar of your life, can only bring you peace through the reality, which you live.

Passion absolutely drives me. It could be the simplest of task, but my desire to do anything, to be anything, comes from the mere fact that I feel so deeply for it. Frequently, my friends and family say I do too much, I give too much. I still haven’t figured out if this is my biggest flaw or a strength. I do know though, I value the relationships or the ideals in my life, whatever they may be, whatever they might signify.Love who you love while you have them. That’s all you can do. Let them go when you must, if you know how to love, you’ll never run out. Losing people is a part of life and I don’t know if its the older I get, or if its just my tolerance level, but I have no room for those who don’t love freely, or give freely in return… naturally, it all comes back to passion. Some folks just don’t have it in them, to love as you, to give as you. To put your all into the things that construct your happiness takes courage.

I give away everything within my table of contents, perhaps leaving the world no interest in the remainder of the book, but the thing is, I don’t know how to love in chapters.

May 30, 2015 2

the dress of the season.

When my mother purchased this fabric, I honestly didn’t even care for it. She came home and said I bought this to take to Pakistan for an outfit. I didn’t pay it much mind, I figured my other sisters could have it. When she was actually leaving for Pakistan, we all handed her our lists: of things I wanted, how I wanted them – and I’m extremely particular, so I know she wasn’t happy with my list haha. I usually print her pictures so she has a better understanding of how I prefer my clothes to be. She packed this fabric and asked how I wanted it, and I told her to just make it into a dress. I figured if we kept it simple, she couldn’t really mess up. In this case, I am SO happy she disregarded what I wanted and did her own thing. My cousins wife helped her make this dress come alive. After constant texts through what’s app, regardless of time differences, I am glad they asked me for approval for everything. Forever thankful, that they understand my picky ways.

The dress was made in Lahore, by my cousins personal tailor. My mother and her went and got the neckline made and added pearls to the hemline and armholes. I absolutely love the way this dress came out, I get so many inquires about it! Ruby out did herself.

April 26, 2015 0

Boho Vibes.

I have been antcipating warmer temps for awhile now. Being a North Carolina native, you realize quickly that we have TWO long seasons all year, summer and winter- both extreme and not much fun. Fall and Spring are of course the nicest, but entirely too short, although Spring I am okay with because of the insane allergies that consume me. In that case, I am glad Spring is only a month long.

Needless to say I take advantage of those nice breezy days where it’s sunny but I can wear a cardigan over my dress and not be dying from a heat stroke. I am so ready to live in dresses and jumpsuits. Am I the only one, over wearing pants? Sorry Men, you don’t know how amazing it is.

This dress is one of my favorites, the color, the simplicity, how I can easily dress it up or down. The hat and necklace add a very Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen vibe – and they have been my style inspiration since I was 12, so naturally. The older I get, the more I go for a minimal look. Less is more my friends, less is more.

dress: h&m | hat & necklace f21 | shoes: Franchesca’s | cardigan: Charlotte Russe

okay, so I had a major Bollywood moment with some of these pictures. Can I have my moment? 🙂 And a HUGE thank you to my lovely friend and amazing photographer, Kristina Allen. She seriously is the best. If you are in NC you can email her at: Kristina.kallen@yahoo.com

March 28, 2015 2

Spring, is that you?

It’s March, and I am aware I didn’t do many winter outfit posts, and honestly my winter wardrobe is pretty simple, skinnies, boots or my purple converses and an oversized sweater. This winter was pretty interesting, which is always the case for North Carolina. Up until January it wasn’t even that cold. One week it would be in the 50’s and then the next week, the town shut down due to one and half inches of snow… yup, you read that correctly folks. The town shut down. Its okay though, we all fully enjoyed the snow days at home doing absolutely nothing – who wouldn’t?

So here’s a transitional outfit, the temps are getting warmer here, and I couldn’t be more excited! Can’t wait to pull out the flats for good and officially put away the boots. I’m a person who is naturally always cold, pleather is my go to, to stay warm and to make any simple outfit have some edge! I’ve mentioned this before, but I have a serious [unhealthy] obsession with outerwear! Living in NC, we only get a little bit of time to wear those lighter jackets before it gets too warm- and that time is finally here!

I am going to go ahead and apologize for the overload of pictures- my amazing and talented friend Kristina, took my pictures for me downtown! I had so much fun doing this shoot with her- if you guys are in North Carolina, seriously hit her up! Follow her instagram page: @kristinakeleephotography or email her directly at Kristina.kallen@yahoo.com

jacket & shoes: Buckle | top & pants: f21

I kept my accessories pretty simple, which has become the norm for me. I let the jacket do all the talking. My necklace was also purchased at Buckle. I love the simplicity of it. watch: Michael Kors | bracelet: its my grandmother’s 24 carat bangle, that she gave me last time I went to Pakistan<3

Quite frankly I’ve never been a sequence girl, but when I saw these sparkly loafers, I just had to have them! They are such a fun pop to outfits, and I absolutely love that. Which is why I fell in love with this jacket!

March 4, 2015 1

For Deah, Yusor, and Razan.

They were going to change the world.

This past week has been extremely emotional. I am still in disbelief, that someone can go into another persons home and shoot them, execution style over a “parking dispute.” It doesn’t sit well with me. To even mention it is trivializing their deaths, which I do not want to do. It is clear that there is indeed hatred in the world. My heart hurts, my heart is heavy thinking of those three incredible people. What a tragic loss for their families..for humanity.

What we cover on the news tells us what matters to us, how we cover that news tells who matters to us. I am still sickened by our media on how they reported this heinous crime, but I want to shift focus on how this atrocity has affected me, and how it has affected humanity.

I was not fortunate enough to meet Razan or Yusor and for that my heart also hurts, because clearly they were amazing. I only met Deah a couple of times. My brother was fortunate enough to go to school with him, to be friends with him, and from what Bilal always told me, he was indeed a sweet, generous, and a humble human being. As a Muslim, it is hard not to focus on the controversy of all of this. The hate Muslims are feeling, the fear that is completely valid. Being an American, I have never really felt fear living in this country. Even after 9/11, I always felt protected… because you always think, first and foremost I am American. For the first time, I have felt fear, I am AWARE of the fact that I am hated on because I am Muslim. It is not something I can explain. When your parents lecture you to not be so feisty about your passions or views, because you don’t know how someone else is going to react, is when you know there is something bigger going on. Islamophobia is REAL.

What Deah, Yusor, and Razan’s sudden deaths have taught me, is that life still has to go on.. sadly. As hard as it has been to focus on the good in the world, I want to change the perspective. I want to celebrate their love, their life, their incredible legacy – not just now but always. I want everyone to remember the good they started. It is crucial we focus on who they are and what they wanted to accomplish. Their wonderful lives were inspirational. It truly makes me want to be a better person. I want to live better, do better. I keep thinking what have I offered the universe? What have people gained from me? Why haven’t I done more? These questions are important, and we need to ask ourselves, what is it that we want people to remember us by. I see how they’ve inspired so many individuals. From Step Curry honoring Deah, to all these drives, and vigils in their names, in their legacies. It hurts, when I think of their lives taken too soon, in a senseless act but seeing the strength and patience their families and friends have exhibited is also very inspirational. It is EXACTLY what Islam teaches.

They indeed changed the world.

Surely, to Him we belong, and to Him we shall return.

February 20, 2015 2

Author: fatimabutt