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the bigger person.

Growth is so essential to one’s character. We hear this often in our life, and when I look back at numerous situations, I think how greatly it impacted me or forced me to think another way. Is that a good thing or bad? Of course like everything else, it’s not so black and white.

I hate the phrase, “be the bigger person.” We are taught our ENTIRE life that relationships are 50/50 but quite frankly, the older I get I realize how untrue this statement is. Some days, some relationships will require more of you and that’s okay.  However, it’s damaging in a relationship when you’re ALWAYS the one running in overdrive or compensating for the other. It sets an exception where the other person can lack, because they know you’ll pick up the pieces. Consequently, what happens when the ‘bigger’ person has had enough?

When I cut people off, I don’t look back. No need to linger, although I’m all for healthy and hard conversations, with action items at the end of that discussion. You can’t keep discussing change but in reality not change – because again, growth. So as the bigger person, I’m repeatedly asked to give in first, or apologize first – which is fine most days but let me tell you what the problem with that is.

It’s insulting. It’s insulting to my growth. I have worked exceptionally hard to get to this point in my life and you keep robbing me of my emotions. It’s insulting I have to think of other people’s emotions and mine are an afterthought. It’s insulting to constantly ask the person in over drive for more. It also allows the other party to NOT grow. If it is difficult for you to reach out first then you need to learn to move in spaces outside of your comfort zone. I’m comfortable (I use this term loosely) being the bigger person, but I too need to get out of my comfort zone. I had to digest some really hard lessons in life, on how my actions affect others and I might not have mastered it fully, but at least I am aware. I’m tired of  the world making excuses for the little people (pun intended) they’re basically being rewarded for being dormant. If the overdrive person continues to compensate for the other person, then how is the other person learning? How are they growing?

Relationships are indeed complicated, some days I sense the need to help people who don’t even ask for my help. Other days, I feel it’s not my job to always point out people’s shortcomings. And that’s the problem with always being the bigger person, you’re constantly feeding into others remaining stagnant. As one of my good friends would say, “it’s not that deep, Fatima.” But that’s just it. It is deep. Relationships are deep, or they should be anyway. If you like to remain on the shallow end, be my guest but it’s not my strong suit.

I can’t expect everyone to be aware nor be the bigger person, so don’t expect it from me either. I’d go the extra mile for those I love, but it’s exhausting to constantly run to a place that has no end point. It’s nice to have people who will grab the baton from you every once in awhile, so you can take a breather.

Therefore when someone asks, how much you put into a relationship, your response should be a 100. If someone isn’t providing that then walk away, run. Someone will catch up to you eventually.

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QTDNA: questions that don’t need answers.

This blog post comes from an extremely vulnerable place, and I give this topic a lot of thought – unintentionally mostly and some days intentionally. Perhaps, with wedding season in full effect or the fact I will be turning 30 this year, everyone has one burning question for me, “so when are you getting married?” And although, MOST of the time I think it comes from a good place, lets talk about WHY this question is heartless and others like it.

First off, why things aren’t happening in someone’s life, such as, “you’ve been married for one year, now it’s time for children,” is NOT your concern. Then after one has their first child, it instantly becomes about having your second… “what are you waiting for?” Basically the questions never end. People have already jumped onto the next hurdle and you’re still trying to relish in the first one.

Is there a race I am unaware of? What do we get if we cross the finish line the fastest? And it’s not just annoying aunties anymore, in fact it seems to me EVERYONE is extremely curious. Married friends and family members who just can’t seem to understand why you aren’t leaping to the finish line. I’m not even going to talk about the turtle and the hare, because we all know the cliche story, but in this case, is anyone really winning if they cross the finish line the quickest?

Listen, getting married isn’t the issue, or you reminding me that I am single. Yes, I am single and despite my disposition on marriage, when you bring up such topics with people, it can feed some undesired emotion that you didn’t even know existed. Especially with bearing children, or anything really. You have NO idea how bad this person might want the exact thing you are suggesting, and to brutally remind them of their struggles is not okay.

I’m a secure person. Certain comments always throw me off such as, “but you’re so pretty how are you single?” This is NOT a compliment by any means. We are ALL well aware (I hope) that finding a partner has nothing to do with your looks, and to normalize this in any way, speaks volumes about our society.

Let’s take this thought a little deeper. I often have really close friends or family members say, “you’re so amazing, how is that you haven’t found someone?” This is a nice claim, but let me tell what’s wrong with it. You hear it so much you truthfully start to think, “damn I am amazing why am I single? Essentially, what the world is telling you is, “you have to be doing something wrong.”  But that’s just it, relationships are not that black and white, nor is the process that simple. We’re so used to delivering cliche remarks, I honestly think people don’t even comprehend how these statements can resonate.

My mother always says, “tume apne bare mein, badi galth famiyan hain,” a famous urdu saying which translates to, “you have A LOT of misconceptions about yourself.” Basically, I ain’t shit (thank you Ruby for always keeping me humble, it is SO NEEDED.) And that’s my problem with those sorts of compliments, it cultivates this idea that we DESERVE a significant other. Look, we don’t deserve anything, you have to work hard at anything and everything you want or need in this life, and that is especially true with people. Also, because I know some really horrible people married, so personality does not dictate whether or not you get married, it’s determined by MANY other factors, clearly.

Additionally, there are those who give their unwarranted advice. Now advice can be fundamental, but to start off with accusatory remarks such as, ‘don’t be so picky, be open minded’ or ‘just be straight-forward and approach the guy yourself’ are not intelligent ways to grab my attention. In my mind I’m thinking, have you met me?? Do I need to spell it out for the guy… but that is an entirely different topic altogether.

My favorite remark thus far has been, “you’re too strong willed.” (insert eye roll emoji.) To blame the very person of why something isn’t happening, is telling the person – ‘its your own fault.’ Don’t get me wrong, I am self aware of all my faults and I am all for constructive criticism but for all one knows, that person has tried everything in their power, and you think you’re being helpful by offering unsolicited opinions? It’s cruel to be honest. In order to be an effective communicator you must embody empathy, and as a human race, we seem to be losing that daily.

I love those who advocate for marriage. They get all cliche on me and say, oh it’ll happen when you least expect it. I’m sorry, are you telling me you didn’t know you were going decide a huge life factor and it *gasps* just happened? You’re trying to tell me that you put no effort or time into something SO monumental, as society teaches us… and it just happened? That entire proposal you elaborated on instagram just happened? Please, stop with this carefree facade. Its demeaning. Relationships are meaningful and they don’t JUST HAPPEN. They take time and patience and sure, for some it is through family and the time is put in differently, but it doesn’t JUST HAPPEN. This a very careful thought out act. I for one, put thought into EVERYTHING I do, and even if meeting someone is the unexpected part, everything that follows is CAREFULLY THOUGHT OUT. So please stop telling single folk, it just happened – I know what you mean, I do, but it is not the same thing, and we have stop perpetuating these false concepts.

If you are not ready to have an in depth conversation about the PROCESS, then don’t proceed with unnecessary suggestions or comments. It is not small talk, it is literally stupid talk. No, I am not bitter, nor am I sad that my timeline hasn’t aligned with your expectations. I have no desire to constantly indulge in the reality that is MY LIFE, I do that enough with my mother, thanks. I am already quite aware what is and isn’t my life.

SO PLEASE STOP:

Asking my married friends why they aren’t having children. (Or why they aren’t as eager as YOU are for their second.)

Telling people what they MIGHT be doing wrong in finding a significant other.

Inquiring about why someone didn’t finish or start med school (God forbid someone doesn’t want to be a doctor.)

Reminding people (or in this case specifically, me) that they are single.

Maybe, just maybe we prefer it that way and if they don’t maybe they have blind faith, that when it supposed to happen, it will. I’ll leave you with my favorite hadith because it is reminder to us all to be sensitive to others and their personal lives:

“Know that if the whole community were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.”

 

Elegant and Fashion

I can’t stress how much fun it is to shop in Pakistan. The rich colors, the different trends, the amazing fabrics. For me, I don’t even think 6mo. would suffice for ALL the things I’d want to buy, or better yet create. It’s no surprise, I’m extremely picky. I carefully chose what fabric I want my outfit to be, the style, the color, the entire look. It’s a process and to be really honest, shopping in Pakistan can be overwhelming. My favorite fabric store Moon Banarsi – I literally was dying in there, the same gorgeous fabric in numerous colors, I mean how is a girl to chose?! It’s tough. Also, in Pakistan the fabrics are mostly available by the current season they’re in. For instance, February begins the madness we know as Lawn (a very soft thin cotton) season. So while I was there in March, lawn was in full swing. I could easily find lawn or super fancy, but not so much in the middle.

I’m really grateful for how accessible it is to order from different online boutiques and designers directly now. Growing up, only time I got new clothes was when my mom went to Pakistan. Nowadays, you can order custom made outfits and get them delivered right to our door step. It is such a convenience. ElegantandFashion is JUST that. You’re able to buy ready-made outfits, or even custom design your order!

This outfit they sent me is such a pretty net material, with a silk lining and flared bottoms that are so complimentary and on trend. I love the pearl detailing, so I focused on those pretty beads and added pearl earrings, that I purchased from Pakistan, to enhance the entire look.

Check our their instagram and mention my name for a discount! Hope this look gives you guys some inspiration for wedding season and Eid parties coming up 🙂


Elegant Jewelry

I recently just got back from Pakistan, and trust me when I say I shopped my little heart out. Even though time was against me I managed to find things I love and adore. Not gonna lie, jewelry was really hard to find. I mean yes, it was everywhere but with so many new styles it was hard to find jewelry I really wanted, like traditional, old school jewelry. I came back a little defeated in that department, but I also came back to a package from ElegantandJewelry. And I am SO thankful! The jewelry design is right up my alley, crafted so beautifully, simple, yet elegant, with a touch of old school that I love. They carry various styles, which is really convenient. If you know me, I love ANYTHING ferozi [turquoise] especially in the summertime! I love with these particular earrings I can make them pop with a simple outfit or make a lawn outfit fancier. And with Eid coming up and wedding season around the corner you can’t go wrong! Check out their Instagram page, and mention my name for a discount! You guys seriously won’t be disappointed and I can’t wait to show you more goodies from them 🙂

accessing accounts.

There a different departments in our life and some openly talk about it, and others keep certain matters private, and in a world where we feel the need to share everything, I understand the need to lay low. But there is a liability to our actions that should be discussed.

Everyone defines friendship differently and quite frankly that is okay, but what I am not okay with is people enabling me or vice versa. We have financial advisers to help us with our investments, savings, and retirement to hold us ACCOUNTABLE  (or is that just me now because I’m finally adulting.) We hire trainers and/or nutritionists to guide us through the process of getting healthier. We have apps to tell us how much we slept, how many calories we burned, how many steps we’ve taken in a day – I could go on, but you get the point. It all goes back to accountability, we ultimately  want to be responsible for our actions. SO in what sane world would I want a group of friends who indulge me and not push me to grow?

It is simple. Openly addressing what or who created the problems in your life is the first step to fixing “issues.” Of course, there are consequences to ALL actions, but ignoring  the truth YOU created derails all businesses, relationships, and friendships. And that is the biggest quandary people don’t want to confront- themselves.

Face yourself in the mirror. Do not cover it when you have mishandled some accounts in your life. Have people in your life HOLD the mirror when your hands tremble. Don’t coddle me or disguise my shortcomings. You’re setting me up for disaster, not greatness and I want to be great. How can I be productive if I can’t recognize what hurdles are in the foreground? That is the pivotal moment we need friends, family to hold us answerable. I can’t win nor can YOU without accountability.

People who choose to remain indifferent aren’t doing you any favors. I demand accountability. Those who refrain from holding the mirror (for themselves and you) create larger problems. Most people are afraid to have someone look at them critically and dig deeper and evaluate, but how do we progress in our careers, at our jobs? We have evaluations every six months to see where our strengths lie and our weaknesses – to determine what direction our focus needs to be so we can continually improve and not just remain stagnant. Why wouldn’t we apply the same principles to our lives? I refuse to deal or acknowledge people who can’t challenge themselves because in all honestly, how can they contribute to my greatness? They can’t. If they abstain from recognizing their own actions dealing with work, speech, behavior – then there isn’t much they can contribute to your life. Self-inflicting issues can only be ridden with accountability. You can not wallow about the changes happening in you life if you dodge refinement.

Having accountability is most certainly not the end of world, but an opening to a million possibilities. Be accountable. Cultivate in greatness. Make a difference. Stand up for what is right- because those who go left is not the side of the quest I want to be on.

What account have you managed today?

too cool for school.

Everyone has a different approach on how they show emotions. Some would say exhibiting too much emotion is a sign of weakness, I on the other hand have ALWAYS believed it takes an abundant amount of strength to actually reveal how you’re truly feeling. Masking emotions is not for everyone. I, for one can’t do it ALL. I inherited my father’s fury unibrow, that scrunches and gets low when I don’t understand something. Some people wear their emotions on their sleeves, I happen to wear them on my face. I have to catch myself most days when I’m making the “are you stupid?” face-or what my friends call, “the Fatima face.” I’m 100% sure that is my face 89.9% of the time.

I absolutely despise labels, yet at times I find myself using them for the sake of explaining certain situations. Who doesn’t want to be the cool guy, or the cool girl? They portray themselves as if they have no care in the world. They’re chill and nothing bothers them. Or so it seems.

Let me tell you what I learned about the cool guy and cool girl. Things bother them, they bottle up those emotions and eventually… POP goes the weasel. Communicating is extremely vital in ANY relationship you foster. In order to cultivate and strengthen existing relationships, and new ones, you MUST communicate at ALL times. And I admit talking seems like a chore most days, but without verbal and even non-verbal communication there isn’t much we can accomplish in any category of our life.

In relationships, I’m SO the cool girl. Nothing really bothers me. You don’t call for a couple of days, I’m cool – I’m entirely too busy in my own life to really notice. Plus being clingy is NOT my thing. Time and dedication should be given freely. They hang out with other friends – who are girls, I’m cool. What’s a relationship without trust anyways?

And I don’t even think I intentionally try to be the “cool girl.” I was cool with it all. Not because, I didn’t feel the need to communicate buried emotions, because relationships are so tricky. People give different, love different,  and most importantly they communicate different. Just because he didn’t text me every second of the day didn’t mean he didn’t care. Just because my mother is more abrasive than other mothers, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me the same. My father is a man of very little words, but his actions leave an impact on me daily. So I’ve learned over the years, not to ask for much. I never intended to be the “cool girl.” My disposition always remains the same. So I continued to be patient, because I’d want the same in return.

But by labeling myself I did myself a disservice. Why can’t we be a little bit of everything? Matters don’t have to be so black and white. We attempt to fit ourselves into a box, when we want to. And others do the same  when we act in a negative way, i.e if we do something “crazy” are we crazy? No.

I felt myself closing in, the wall I had built to protect myself was starting to cave in on me.

We often mimic the love we receive. He was so extremely chill, that I let my inner cool girl shine as well. I don’t think I was necessarily accommodating him as much as I was accommodating my own feelings. I could obviously never refrain from being passionate as he would say, so it wasn’t like I was changing or molding myself FOR HIM, but there was an element to my actions that tried to be collected at all times, to be in control of them. I guess it was never about him.

We build facades with the intent that when a person doesn’t give us what we want, we tell ourselves, “that’s alright, because I prepared myself for this” and if they do, then we hoped for it.(I wanted to be the strong girl.) But that’s the thing about building facades.. no one wins. My friend Candice literally ALWAYS tells me what she wants – a phone call from me, and because she matters to me, I give her that. That is how ALL relationships works. We actively make a choice EVERYDAY to nurture relationships we want. But remember, you can NOT ask for things you, yourself have difficulty providing.

Whether we keep our emotions bottled up or we scream the things we want, we’re not really treading properly. He never spoke up about what he wanted, and neither did I (for awhile) and we both lost.. and the kicker is – none of us were playing the game.

I wanted words of affirmation, and he wanted.. actually I’m still not sure what he wanted, but its a learning process right? I also recognize no matter how much I wanted words from him, until he was ready to give them, I would never get the conversation I so deeply longed for. So I walked away knowing for the first time, I didn’t have to be the cool girl.. or any girl for that matter. I could just be me, and I am composed of many elements. Collected, cool, crazy, but above all – loving.

a minimalist perspective.

I scroll and scroll some more. Then I head to another outlet, tap on the picture and patiently wait for it to load and watch the story unfold. I realized an hour had passed keeping up with my peers. It dawned on me how I do indeed enjoy story time but perhpas more meaningful ones…

Is there an obsession with knowing what everyone else is doing? I’m a millennial and I see how our generation and Gen Z feels the need to be connected to everyone and everything, every second of the day. The digital natives have changed the game, they have upped the usage by 75%.  Have we lost all human connection? I know my eyes are tired from all the rolling they do as I scroll my Facebook feed.

I had been obsessed with living a minimalistic life for years, and I always thought how can I really do this? I own entirely too much for starters, but I wanted to declutter my life in every single aspect. To clothes, to jewelry, to people.

Yeah sure, I recognize people aren’t disposable per se, but in a way they are. The moment I turned 29, its as if I had a radar. The second someone was fake to me, my mind would start to beep. It always beeped, but the beeping got louder and louder.

I edit multiple times before I send emails, upload blogs,  and even my journal writings have tons of edits, scratch marks and all. So why would my life be any different? Be a ruthless editor of what you allow in your life, in your home and most importantly in your mind. What does this object mean to me? What does this person mean to me? Why do I continue to give someone space in my LIFE, when given the right time period, this person would give me nothing substantial (too specific?)

So I edited, deleted and kept going.

I guess that’s just it, I’ve never needed a great deal from people. Genuine friendship, appreciation, respect. But the more time passes, I acknowledge how difficult it is for people to give these elements that come so naturally to me. Its harder for me to be fake. It has absolutely drained me. The concept of keeping up with people became a job, people I didn’t even care for, but we continue to follow them on different mediums because we don’t want to offend anyone. I can’t uphold this persona. I can’t remain robotic of scrolling and eye rolling. Why deny myself the simple pleasure of being peaceful ON MY OWN DEVICES?

I’ve still been “documenting” moments in my life that make me feel a variety of emotions, but in a more old school manner. I pull out my journal and jot down how I am feeling in that instance. Whether I am thrilled, bitter, or somber. I follow with why I’m feeling this way and what can I do to change it or channel my energy differently.

No matter how we spin it. We want validation. We want someone to tell us we’re pretty or give us a pat on the back when we accomplish something of an importance. We want the world to validate our emotions. We want someone to approve the things we find joy in, but I don’t want that through an Instagram filter.I want it to be in a genuine more concrete way.

I don’t share too much of my personal life. My mind is forever on overdrive for my family, friends, the things I love and even despise. Daily, I fight small battles and enjoy victories I never share. Some days I even cry in my defeats, wipe my tears and head to work and tackle my day. There is an ENTIRE world you never see behind that Starbucks cup on Snapchat.

There have been numerous benefits of deleting people, social media, and decluttering my life thoroughly. I got rid of every little substance that didn’t give me joy. I detached myself from materialistic possessions. I cleared out bags and bags of random items from my bedroom. I wanted to feel free. Then I went through my social media and deleted EVERYONE who basically voted for Trump – this kind of petty I enjoyed indulging in briefly. It is nauseating enough to see Bills being passed that effect me directly and then to see those who openly agree to it all is something I could live completely without. Then I deleted social media entirely. I can read the news without people’s unsolicited opinions.

Also, because I wanted to be more productive with my time. In 31 days (do you see a trend?) I found time to read more, write more, declutter and really live that minimal life I wanted. I became self aware of my emotions without all the fake noise that surrounded me. I saved money easily by taking myself out of the mix of seeing what others had. I don’t feel the need to share my thoughts, my memories with others. I get to keep them to myself, something we don’t do enough of.

I also can admit this was kind of a drastic change in lifestyle and perhaps I need to find a balance, to disconnect and still feel connected. But by staying connected to others you can lose some connection with yourself. Valuable time you will never get back. We are taught that being able to multi-task is praise worthy. How can the age of distraction and half assing everything bring value to our life? I finally have self-control and discipline in various aspects of my life. Of course, we have the ability to do so but do we apply ourselves enough?

I want assets in my name, to build an empire, to be successful. And sure, you can do so while having thousands of fake followers watching your every move, but I rather not. Evil eye is very much a thing, and I’ve never believed it before as much as I do now, that being “envious” can strip you from all happiness. And it can be as simple as a momentary question. If you find yourself being jealous and asking, “I wish I had those shoes.” or “I wish I had that job.” Then ask yourself what are YOU doing different to actually obtain those things?

By eliminating, to put eloquently, the bullshit, I have made allowances for actual change. I’m not scrolling through a feed and saying, “man I wish I was traveling, or I wish I was in grad school.” I made it all happen in just a month by ridding myself of excessive commotion.

I starved my distractions to feed my focus. If you want your life to flourish and shift in the right direction, then you must do something completely different.  You must reconstruct your life to fit the vision you have set for yourself. And you don’t need your 1000 friends on Facebook to give you accolades when you get a promotion or get that Instagran like for your #OOTD to validate the fact your outfit is dope. Share those stories with TRUE friends who aren’t jealous of your successes or deep down want you to fail. In the words of Drizzy, we have fake people showing fake love to us… and we continue to accommodate them? We can deny all we want, that we don’t post for people, but it goes back to the question I ask myself often now, “if the world were blind, would I still do this?” A small part of us does want to impress others, and the other half of us indulges in worldly affairs solely for ourselves and to share with those that actually matter. So ask yourself, which part are you feeding?

I deprived my “followers” and found out quickly who truly cared for what I was feeling or thinking. And who cared enough to text me about the Muslim Ban. Who really stood in solidarity with me, not just behind a lousy like.

By feeding my focus I became the most productive and peaceful I have been in a very long time. Insert 300 likes here.

a new boost of confidence.

Make-up is an expression of creativity and a form of art. I believe that to be true, but this is what happened when I didn’t wear make-up for 30 days.

For the past couple of months, I’ve been experiencing some interesting changes. The things that once mattered to me, don’t. I can’t distinguish when the change happened but a part of me gathers it is because I am turning 30 soon. Eight months to be exact. Other components have been a deciding factor as well.

The idea came to me one day out of anger. I was angry that as I spoke about a topic that weighed remarkably heavy on my heart,  someone stopped me to ask me the color of my lipstick. I don’t know what made me more angry, the fact that out of EVERYTHING I was saying, they were more interested in my fake lip color or that I cared.

I am constantly torn between, how I want to be perceived by others, and not really caring and doing as I please. It’s a daily struggle to be honest. Naturally, I am not concerned with what people think about me, but I do carry some sort of burden of being represented correctly.

We live in a world where the word feminism is interpreted in various ways. I consider myself a feminist, in the true sense of the word. Both sexes should be treated equally – nothing more, nothing less. When people see me or speak to me, I want to be taken seriously MORE than anything in my life. In fact, I  want it so badly, I come off aggressive most days. I became aware of this thanks to my ex (they’re good for something I guess.) He’d always tell me to take it easy, that it was never that serious, and although he was right, I couldn’t help but to think, you’re not a woman, you’ll never get it.

I started to define these moments as losses. That if my hair was too polished and my outfit was too perfect then the matters I was speaking on or the important things I was trying to accomplish, were going to get lost. I became so obsessed with being heard that I didn’t want to be seen. I didn’t want any sort of distraction. I wanted my knowledge and intelligence to be the core of me. ‘What you see, is what you get,’ if you will. So I took away the pink lipstick and opted for a fresh face, discoloration and all. Tucked my curls away, and pulled back my hair. Needless to say, my sisters went on to tell me I looked like a walking zombie.

Initially, I hated the way my dark circles were the first thing you noticed and I absolutely loathed the, “are you tired?” question. As the days passed, I started to like the extra thirty minutes of sleep in the morning. I started to like my bare skin and my hair pulled back. I started to realize, I was still me. The strong willed person who doesn’t take any bullshit. Concealer or sans concealer. I know make-up doesn’t define me, it never had. That was never the question I battled with. I wanted to take away this superficial layer, and be my authentic self. I wanted people to ask me more significant questions. I wanted to engage in more meaningful conversations.

I concluded, it wasn’t necessarily the make-up that was the issue, but perhaps the people in my life. I was getting “rid” of the wrong thing. I also recognized, its all how YOU define it. Interest in beauty and fashion doesn’t diminish my intelligence BUT I will be damned if you presume that interest in such matters define me as person entirely. I just defined a new me.

I am MORE than my well thought-out outfits. I am especially MORE than my face. I am MORE with my pink lipstick and I’m also MORE with my dark circles, and I am REALLY more when we talk about the POTUS.

Happy Shopping

Some of my favorite stores are having the most amazing deals, since I shop ALL the time, I’m gonna sit this one out. I didn’t step into ONE store this past weekend. I don’t really do crowds, and when you’ve worked retail pretty much your whole life, you tend to avoid it. #avidonlineshopper right here! But for all those wanting to know some good deals; here you go.

MKZubes is doing 30% off with Free Shipping! You do NOT want to miss out on this. Use Code: MADNE$$

Asos is one of my favorites, they already provide free shipping! Use code: Thankful30

Modcloth also a huge favorite, providing free shipping and 30% off everything! With code: CYBER16

Ulta is offering some really cool deals and free shipping.

and because electronics are life, here’s a link to all the things I want, but again, self control! Best Buy

Most deals/sales all end tonight. Happy Shopping!

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